40 down, none to go!

Where to start, where to start.. First off i'd like to just say that this journey has really opened my eyes, my heart, my soul up to receive so much more of God. I see God in my daily life more than I have seen before. I am able to openly be generous, openly care for others before myself, and just to see God in everything I do. I praise God for so much that I have become. Although 40 days may seem short but taking the time out of your day to do something worthwhile can really change your perspective on life. Before I saw my life as just a repetitive notion i had to go through daily.. nothing exciting, no change, etc. But now that I am able to show God's love throughout my day and share His greatness, i find that it's made me so much more open-minded. Now i find myself actually CRINGING to words/sentences that were only said to hurt others or to just poke fun.

Amen to Ann. I look forward to this 40 day journey to being a yearly thing, maybe even semester thing. May God show me more of Himself even AFTER this journey. Without Him, we, as humans, are powerless.

Today as my celebration of the end of this amazing journey, I ordered pizza for everyone who stayed after bible study today. I don't want to be known as the girl who "doesn't usually do this" or the girl who's "cheap". I want to be known as the girl who is openly generous no matter what. For "God provides" (quoting Ann/Bible).

Feeling evermore so faithful and hopeful for the future,
tina

day forty

oh man...writing this post is so unbelievably sad and exciting at the same time. i'm sad because this has been such a wonderful journey, God has shown me so much stuff during this journey, He has led me to brokenness and healed me, He has build relationships and restore His throne in my life. on the other hand, i'm so excited as i exit this 40-day spiritual journey because i have this boldness and renewed strength that just urges me to go into the world and glorify God in all that i do. one thing that has proved more certain than ever before, that i want to follow God in my life, seek Him with all my heart, my soul, and my strength, and there's no turning back. i wait eagerly and patiently for the day He comes back and redeems His people. i believe in eternity and long to spend it with Him. "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

lastly, my "final" act of love for this journey is making an offering. i received a check for my birthday a month ago, and although i am very thankful, i thought this gift could be used for something greater, instead of just keeping it to myself. returning the check would be kind of pointless and snobby of me (haha!), so i've been looking for opportunities to give this money for a good purpose. i don't want to go into details here, but i found two opportunities that i felt led to contribute. so, praise God, and may He use this money for His eternal purpose! may i always not hold back on offering, because i know that i don't need anything, for my God will always provide :)

i leave this 40-day spiritual journey with a heart that is passionately burning for Christ and what He is about to do in the coming days, months, years....

above all, to God be the glory forever and ever,

ann

p.s. let's make this an annual thing and have more people join! excited for 40-day spiritual journey 2011 :)

day thirty-nine

sorry for being a day late! yesterday went by really fast, because i was trying to get work done and sleep to prepare for the big night (campus house of prayer night watch 12AM-6AM).

last night was sooooo amazingly good!! we worshiped, declared God's promises openly, confessed our sins, sought His presence, prayed for the campus, prayed for the nations (especially those that have undergone earthquakes in the previous months), prayed for each other, and just shared about God. overall, we had no problems staying awake! we also never ran out of things to do because the Holy Spirit just led us during that six hours! the presence of God was so thick and saturated that you can't help but just worship Him continuously!

i came home, slept for about 2 hours, went to class for 2 hours, came back home and slept for another 2 hours. i'm very thankful that i'm able to stay awake for the day and get some things done!

today's act of love was going to the grocery store and buying things for my roommate, who is going out of town this weekend. we've been running short of vegetables, so i went to heb and bought some stuff for both of us! also, on the way home, there was a guy chasing after the bus, and he was carrying some luggages. he missed the bus barely, and he looked like he was crying...this whole thing i didn't see, because i was sitting with my back facing the window. tommy, who was sitting across from me, told me, and my first impulse was to pray for him. i have no idea who he is or his situation, but i just felt like blessing his day with a prayer. i don't know what he's going through, but i pray that God will bring peace into his life and pray for his trip today.

ahh...just want to seek God all the days of my life,

ann

39 down, 1 to go!

Today was a GREAT day. At school, at work, at home, everywhere! I really felt pure joy in my heart. I was completely satisfied with my life and I don't think i complained much at all today! Work was great, i was high spirited and everyone else could see that off of me and in return, i received their happiness!

I offered a pear to my friend today before going into work! I had two pears cleaned and ready to eat at work when i decided to offer my friend one! She previously brought chips for me and i decided to give her one! Least i could do for such a great friend.

Prayer meeting last night was good. Although some times i feel like it gets harder and harder to receive God's presence and annointings as before. Why is that God? How come i feel so distant from you when we are at prayer meetings? Yes there are times during the meetings that i completely feel in your presence but other times like when i'm discussing certain topics, it's hard for me to see You.. God please take this uncertainty away and turn it into faith and hope.

And as this journey ends, with my goal being to know what i want to do, i will take one day's challenges per day, and tomorrow will worry about itself. I'm going to go towards elementary education, where my heart is 'right now', and if this isn't right for me, I know God will move me where He wants :)

with Love,
tina

day thirty-eight

this morning, i brought some breakfast items to school and shared some with my friend, who didn't eat breakfast :)

in the evening, my friend and i were walking to Subway for dinner, and this guy approached us and asked if we had spare change for some food...we got scared and said no.

i wonder if i had done wrong. if my friend wasn't with me, maybe i would have faithfully given him some money. i don't know though...because i just remember being really scared.

i pray that God has His plans for me in the right timing, and when it comes, i will completely abandon myself to His will.

during my prayer time at the campus house of prayer today, i started prophetic worship again. it's been so long, and i feel so new and unexperienced at it! in my spiritual walk with God right now, i just feel like a child all over again, which is very good in a way because all i want to do is be silent and listen to Him, close my eyes and feel His touch, still myself and enjoy His presence.

still very tired,

ann

38 down, 2 to go!

This journey is coming to an end...

I first would to repent of my sins tonight.. I was supposed to be fasting tonight, every Wednesday night until this journey ends, but tonight I took into temptation and ate. I know this is not good.. I'm sorry God for being so weak and giving into the temptation of food so easily..

Today i did a lot of complimenting! I complimented my friend, telling her that she looked very skinny today :) She was very vvery happy to have heard that! i also told my co-worker that i liked the dress she was wearing. I learned that if i make someone's day, even just my a small little sentence, it can help make my day! A compliment goes a long way :) Just like how i like receiving compliments, i would also like to give others this happiness too!

still hungry,
tina

37 down, 3 to go!

First of all, i just have to say that i LOVE reading ann's posts every day. Whenever i'm not feeling spiritually adequate, i can just read her blog and feel fired up for God. Why go to a conference when you have ann?! :) i love you, ann!

My act of love actually just came to me a few seconds ago! Well i went to it.. haha. I had washed clothes earlier today and completely forgot about them being in the washer still! I just reminded my mom that there were clothes, wanting her to dry them.. But just now she said "okay i'm going to go dry the clothes" and i decided to do it for her instead. whenever i think of her doing work for me, i just get up and do them myself. It's usually really hard for me to do things for other people when they ask me to, but if my mom is the one asking, i don't hesitate 'much' and get up and do it.

Praise God for letting me be able to honor and obey my parents.

Prayer meeting is tomorrow night and asking for God's presence,
tina

day thirty-seven

i've been reading galatians 5 and meditating on the scriptures daily. it talks about freedom in Christ and life by the Spirit, which are both what i am in need of at the moment. ver. 6 "...the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love" - to be set free in Christ, we wait eagerly for God in our troubled times and continue to love in faithfulness.

today's (mini) acts of love...i listened to my friend talk about his horrible day and how he was humiliated by all his professors, i'm also going to campus to have dinner with esther, or else she would have to eat by herself tonight, and i'm going to meet another friend before that because she doesn't know where it is.

tonight...we will worship at the tower and seek the face of the Lord.

tomorrow and every day...we will walk in spirit and in truth because He is the way, the truth, and the life :)

oh sweet Jesus, You are truly precious,

ann

36 down, 4 to go!

I went to Sam's today with my mom :) Although I know she says she doesn't need anyone to go with her to run errands, i'm sure that deep down inside, she feels happy whenever someone goes with her! I could have been selfish and said i have better things to do at home, but i went with her!

It's coming to an end, this journey we've been on for 36 days now. I hope and pray that God will become my lifestyle and not only my escape.

Extremely excited for Jesus Culture conference. I better get started on practicing their songs before i get to the conference :)

day thirty-six

wrapping this journey up soon...! :)

it has been very valuable.

this morning, i went to the campus house of prayer to pray, and i just felt kind of lost...i don't know how to pray anymore! i feel really confused and inadequate. i don't understand what it's like to love God anymore...i feel really bad and spiritually sickened. please, please pray for me. i never thought i would experience something like this. how is it possible that i cannot and do not know how to love God?

after prayer, tommy and i went to talk and share about rez week and other stuff. i told him how i was feeling and asked him to pray for me. he prayed for me right on the spot! in his prayer, he said something about God revealing to me in three days. after he was finished praying, i asked him why three days, and he said it just seemed right. i wonder if this is a possible prophecy from God! keep you posted...

good news! God has answered some prayers during this 40-day journey. i'll go over it in details later on, in the last post. quick spoiler: lee got a job! :)

extremely sleepy,

ann

p.s. i have decided to end my fast.

day thirty-five

oh...five days left in our journey.

i haven't been pursuing an act of love, although i need to be!

just got an idea, i'm going to list 10 things that i am thankful for, as of today:

1. got my friend a present that was 75% off!

2. got in touch with my mom, after she frantically called me many times, (i forgot to turn on my phone)

3. although it was really misty, it didn't rain today; therefore, i was able to bike to church

4. finished some homework for this weekend

5. cleaned my desk, feeling better about my study environment

6. restricted myself to playing five games of solitaire and finally won the last round :)

7. grew calluses on my fingertips from guitar

8. heard from my mom that scott is enjoying some pretty good benefits in shanghai

9. still have frozen broccoli in the fridge, i'll survive this following week!

10. above all, thank Jesus for His resurrection. not just taking our sins and burdens to the cross, but conquering the grave, rising, and promising that He will come back to redeem His beloved!!

smiling,

ann

35 down, 5 more to go!

It's been such a filled day.. filled with sorrow, grief, joy, etc.

God gives and takes away.. This morning i found out that someone had passed away and i was just thinking about how and why God does this. Although we may not understand why at this moment because we are too busy grieving, God always has a reason. God did not say that we cannot grief, it is okay to grief. But we must still have hope for the future..

I helped my friend April with her essay question! I really do hope that the answers i provided her with are accurate! Because i would really like to know that God gave me wisdom and i was able to use it for the benefit of others. I've never felt extremely smart before and i've never heard someone praise me for my knowledge.. :) So all in all, i just hope i was able to help at all!

Also, i just recently heard that my friend was crying because she didn't know what choice to make about her classes. She's sad that she cannot get a decent grade unless she gets a perfect score on her final. I pray that God will show her His purpose and that she will find comfort and solutions in Him.

Almost finished with 40-day journey & feeling GREAT about my spiritual life,
tina

day thirty-four

ugh...yesterday wasn't a very good day, so i didn't know what to blog about!

it was a pretty productive day, but then time just slipped out of my hand so fast...

before i showered last night, i just had a burst of excitement that i wanted to play solitaire on my computer. i don't understand how, but i kept losing, for like 15 games, in a row! i was pretty frustrated, and i wouldn't shower until i won a game...hence, my stubborn nature.

anyways, i ended up not winning at all, and i handed my computer over to my roommates, so they could win for me. looking back, i regretted everything. i originally had planned for that time to be used for prayer and devotions, but i just fell into temptation! i pray that never ever again, will i experience something like this again! i want to fall madly in love with Jesus, that i would give everything up just to be with Him! :)

also, something to ponder about...God created taste, flavor, spices. every time i eat, i remember this and just savor the food before me. i had wings last night, and the taste of lemon pepper just made me very happy! we worship a God who created this deliciousness! it's so yummy...God is so good, creative, and awesome :)

mmm,

ann

34 down, 6 more to go!

What a great day :) Extremely hot but liking the summer :)

as i was picking up my dry clean clothes today these 2 girls came up to me and asked if i had a dollar i could give them. they said they walked all the way over there just to pierce their ears and now they are a dollar short! young spirited youth! haha well of course i gave it to them! although i failed to say "God bless you".. I regret that a lot. I pray for more courage to stand up for God because He did the same for us, dying on the cross for our sins. Amen? :)

burning up in the heat as well as God's fire,
tina

33 down, 7 to go!

Good Friday! Thank God for dying on the cross today a billion or so years ago (i'm not good with historical dates). Thank You for washing our sins away. How painful it is for me to imagine myself getting a shot at the doctor's office, imagine Him dying on the cross with the nails and thorns upon his forehead..

Today went by like any other day. I'm guilty of not putting much thought into Good Friday.. My good deed today was talking and making someone feel comfortable. There's a guy that attends our church that is always laughed at and looked down upon. Although, I do admit, some laughs here and there are fun! But I have really been trying to keep myself in line, not doing such sinful things. God loves him as much and as equally as He loves any one of us. Who are we to laugh at him, thinking we are better.. I'm sorry God for the past jokes and judgments i have made to make any one feel uncomfortable or unwanted. I'm sorry God for making fun or someone as a normal habit, because this is not normal at all.. I will not be forced to go along with how the world thinks because I am a child of God and i will follow his steps to be a better person. I want to be someone that reflects God's love and God's goodness upon the earth.

under God's conviction,
tina

day thirty-three

i was deciding whether i should go to our church's good friday service or go to the campus house of prayer and spend time with God. i originally planned on going to the campus house of prayer, but i got distracted doing my own stuff and got lazy, not wanting to go out at night...now i feel bad.

nonetheless, i'm going to commit myself in spending some good quality-time with Jesus tonight in my prayer closet :)

throughout rez week, i've felt the power of the resurrection more than ever. i realized that Jesus resurrected so that we may have life through Him and how great and mighty that is. He conquered the grave. His power is in us. He is alive :)

filled with so much joy,

ann

32 down, 8 more to go!

This is actually really weird that it's so close to the end of this journey! Although God has not CLEARLY told me exactly what i should do in the future, but i know when the time is right, He will reveal this to me. I have faith that his timing is perfect!

Today's act of love was having Kevin over for lunch to eat left over hot dogs. haha this doesn't sound very appealing but this saved the both of us money! I was annoyed that he didn't offer to wash the dishes so i asked him to do it, as he got up to go do them, i stopped him and insisted i did it instead. This was because i knew he was tired and he was about to drive us to Katy Mills mall!

Sigh, i'm sad about leaving this journey..
tina

day thirty-two

today is the last day of rez week, and we, as a campus, are doing a corporate fasting/prayer movement. i've never done a 24-hour fast, but it's actually not bad at all! compared to my usual dinner fast, this 24-hour fast has been easier, in a sense! surprisingly, i don't really feel hungry at all, and as i walk on campus, i just pray for those around me and for God's presence to be saturated in the campus. it has definitely helped me focus on God throughout the day :)

tempted by the thought of food,

ann